My mail lady is my foe...

It's true.  She is.  And I think I'm hers.

I get a lot of mail.  As in, a lot.  Mostly magazines and packages.  And I live on a route where my mail is delivered to my door.  So my mail lady parks her truck, gathers the mail for the street, and then walks door to door to deliver everyone's mail.

So I get it.  It's a lot to carry around.  BUT, I never asked to be a door mail delivery customer AND her job is to carry the mail.  So...

Throughout the 3 1/2 years I've lived here she's said things (over and over again, ad nauseum) like this:

 "You get a lot of magazines.  How do you afford them all?"

"Your garage is a mess."*

"These magazines are really heavy."

"You get a lot of packages.  What are you buying?"

That's on top of these sweet nuggets:

1.  It was icy by my mailbox (which is attached to my garage) this past winter.  Now keep in mind I'm constantly de-icing the area, because I don't want my princess mail woman to be hurt.  Just kidding.  But I really did de-ice constantly.  So rather than putting a note on my mailbox, which I'm sure the post office has a form for, she wrote on a piece of my mail, in a creepy, scrawly handwriting, "Get rid of the ice."  All right then.

2.  I replaced the front walk at my house and for 24 hours, twenty-four hours, it was roped off.  The next day she scowled at me and said "Why can't I walk on this?!?!"  Now please bear in mind, dear reader, that she has my entire lawn to walk across (God forbid she walks down my driveway, to the road, to the next house).

3.  My garage door recently broke.  It was original to the house, built in 1947, and was wooden and weighed a ton.  It basically ran off the rails and had to be replaced.  But this happened on a Friday night and the new door wasn't coming until Monday.  When hot stuff delivered my Saturday mail she said (through my dining room window, where I was hiding from her) "Hey, your garage door is broken.  You need to get that fixed."

And scene.

So, what would you all do?  Complain?  I feel bad doing that.  Although, as a government worker I doubt there'd be any repercussions.  Ugh.  Mail's my favorite thing ever guys!  And she's ruining it!!!

*Editors Note:  My garage is a mess.  But it's really none of wisenheimer's business.