Heartbroken

I'm a little heartbroken right now. My brother, sister in law and niece just left and I'm a wreck. I really shouldn't have driven home, I was quietly hysterical most of the way - just quietly sobbing. It's like I said to Skip the other day, I feel like I'm always saying good bye to them. My brother is just a hero to me. He's someone I admire for following his destiny, sure in himself and an adventurer in his heart. He's a man who dedicates himself to things - his country, his family. I love that about him. And he's an amazing father. To spend so little time with him and then to have to say good bye is just really difficult. I'm SO grateful to have any time with them at all, its just so hard to say good bye. He's the man of our family now - we all need that in our lives - from my mom down to little Mad and Jack. I plan on going there in December of January, but 6 months is a long time.

I got home, washed my face (I've found that a salty tear facial is NOT so moisturizing), and sat down to write first thing. I felt that by writing it down I might feel a little better. Sadly I don't. I regret that I won't see Emma grow up in the same way I've been blessed to see Jack and Mad. I'm dedicated to making myself a presence in her life, but it won't be the same. I adore that little girl.

And I want to mention how proud of I am of Meg. My sister in law, whom I've known for many, many years, and whom I've seen as a young girl, is growing into such a wonderful mother and wife. She loves my brother so much, and wants to make him happy. She's such a wonderful mother to little Emma - it came so naturally for her, and I'm just so proud of who she's become, and who she wants to be.

Bill, Meg and Em...I love you all more than I could ever say.